This is the question that every infertile woman has faced during her journey towards conception. It is a question that can sometimes reveal deep feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy and loneliness. For many women it can lead down a dark path of negative thinking and raise even more painful questions like;
- Did I do something wrong?
- Am I being punished for past mistakes?
- Am I a bad person?
- Do I deserve to be happy?
- Should I let go of this dream?
It is not uncommon for women battling with infertility to turn their focus inward and look at their failings. When life gets hard we all go through a period of evaluation where we try to make sense of the pain. We look for answers because we want to understand our circumstances and perhaps more than that we want to find a way to control it.
There is nothing more scary than being in a difficult season and not knowing when or if things will ever change for the better. How do you hold onto hope if you cannot see the outcome? What do you do when it all falls apart?
Let it all out
Scream if you must, cry if you can and vent if you have someone to listen. We can’t always express our emotions at every point to everyone, but it is important to release your feelings when you can. You don’t need to pretend that life is perfect. Yes there are times when we need to be strong, but there are also times when we need to admit that we are weak. When we need to give ourselves the freedom to be human.
Just because it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean that it won’t
Don’t look at your past to determine what your future will be. You may have been trying to have a baby for 10 years without success, yet your entire world could change in one instant. Don’t count yourself out because of the length of time. Live with the expectation that you will experience the life of your dreams.
Be inspired
It may help you to hear how other women have coped during their journey. Reading the success stories of women who have gone through similar trials can also bring you hope and keep you in a positive space. Seek out stories that reinforce the belief that you will have a baby one day.
Be an inspiration
If you find that there is no way to ease your own pain right now, focus on easing the pain for someone else. Maybe there are people in your life who are drawing strength from your story. Maybe there are women in your circle who are seeking hope even more than you. Your honesty, compassion, perseverance and faith could be the reason for their miracle.
Change the question
Instead of asking ‘why can’t I have a baby?’, begin to ask yourself questions that remind you that your life is in fact meaningful. Questions like, what are the dreams that did come true for me? Who can I appreciate in my life? What did I enjoy about my day? Who needs my help? What did I learn along the way?
Don’t give up
Whatever you do, don’t stop trying. If you feel lost right now Fertility Solutions can help you find the right treatment plan for your situation. Check out our list of Fertility Clinics, visit our online store Fertility Products or learn more about your condition and what you can do to
create your own success story.
By Cindy Harker
