Over the past few years, our lives have been overshadowed by the relentless challenges of infertility, adenomyosis, fibroids, and the burden of heavy menstrual bleeding. Infertility, in particular, has been a profound source of loss, robbing me of choices that others take for granted. The very essence of what my body was designed to do feels frustratingly out of reach.
Despite these struggles, I refuse to succumb to despair every day. It’s an ongoing battle, with some days proving more difficult than others. In the midst of this, I’ve discovered solace in training (lifting heavy weights), cherished friendships, and managing to find happiness for others despite my own hardships. Most importantly, I’ve learned to consistently show up for myself, even on those hard days.
Infertility has the power to consume and transform one’s identity into something unrecognizable. I speak from the depths of my own experiences—it’s undeniably tough. Yet, I’ve come to understand the significance of taking life one day at a time, and sometimes, when that feels overwhelming, even one moment at a time. It’s a journey of self-discovery and resilience, navigating through the storm while holding on to the hope that brighter days will come.
Living in limbo for the past few years, uncertain of the next steps, has been my reality. While I believe God has probably shown me the way, I admit to being a bit hard-headed. Nearly a year has passed since our failed IVF cycle. Some days, I know exactly what steps to take, and others, I find myself unable to even entertain thoughts about my fertility. This indecisiveness has taken hold, surprising me as I always thought I was someone with a clear direction in life.
This journey is undoubtedly difficult, but as a personal reminder, it’s just one part of my life—infertility does not define my entire existence.
I sincerely hope these words resonate with the emotions you’re experiencing as you read this.
Xxx Rezahna